I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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