I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
