By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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