I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
dude i'm inner monologue high
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
