Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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