please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize