WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
