I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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