Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
