She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
