Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
