we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
