So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize