Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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