i was born a porn star she said
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
