I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
