thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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