so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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