you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dicks are not precious.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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