so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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