that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
