id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
