we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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