I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
not ubering you a puppy
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
