i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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