Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
