...so i touched it.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
