Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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