How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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