I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
