halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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