PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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