Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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