All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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