I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize