What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
