Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We are two peas in an std pod
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
is it fun? or sober?
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