i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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