New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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