I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
