I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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