She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
