I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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