Acid is not a monday night drug
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize