soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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