Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
