apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
