he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
