have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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