whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
