My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
