well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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