told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
