i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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