just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
