Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
