Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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