do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
