he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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