I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
