Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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