Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
