The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
