i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize