Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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