You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
