He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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