glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
