We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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