so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
