My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
