At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
