When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
