its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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