Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
