what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
