Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
